Dear followers,

This post is about the famous “LinkedIn Lunatics”. Most of you are probably familiar with the term. For those that aren’t, a brief explanation follows.

A LinkedIn lunatic, is typically someone who:

  • Is a white man
  • Is very wealthy
  • Is completely out of touch with the real world
  • Is a Tech Bro
  • Has perspectives of work that ultimately favour the company and makes everyone poorer except those at the top
  • Thinks everyone can invest in stocks or crypto currencies and get wealthy fast

Not all LinkedIn Lunatics check all of the bullet points. Some do. The most common trait is always an interpretation of the outside world that is completely surreal and out of touch with reality.

Given that this post’s content is inflammatory (we do it on purpose and we assume it), we’ll reject right now any kind of personal attacks to the people who we criticize in this post. Our critics are purely about the ideas that they defend. We don’t do personal pesky attacks, because that’s worthless.

However, we do have a ranking system in place for our lunatics of the day. Here it goes:

S - A lunatic that broke the LinkedIn barrier and jumped off to other social platforms.

A - Totally out of their mind, needs medical assistance

B - One post away from becoming a complete lunatic

C - Raises some interesting points, others are well… suspicious

D - We can still rescue them

Let’s begin with Mr. Tocha

Tocha, “Startup Spotter & Early-Stage Investor”#

Tocha describes himself as a “Startup Spotter & Early-Stage Investor”. His central themes seem to be:

  • The power of equity as a way to benefit workers more
  • The power of entrepreneurship as an innovationg engine
  • The worthlessness of accountants in Portugal
  • Content creation around building companies and entrepreneurship, where most of the times, suspiciously, the entrepreneur is always the one who risks it all for the measly employees’ benefits
  • Jumping on the AI hype train (so much so that every time he needs an image for his post, he generates it, completely disregarding whether or not it was built on top of unlicensed work from artists)

We want to preface this that some opinions from Mr. Tocha ressonate with us. We applaud his effort of creating educational content, where, for example, he explains the concept of equity in a clear and concise manner. We also applaud his opinion that there’s a “slave to your salary” mentality in Portugal and how we can solve it. We applaud his opinion that company-employee incentives should be better aligned in order to create more benefits for all parties involved. We too applaud his comment on the lack of innovation in Portugal and how that, combined with other factors such as a government that fails to update itself to the modern era, forces young people to leave their home country.

We don’t applaud however, the fact that he thinks that trickle down economics work.

We don’t applaud the fact that he looks at accountants as being inferior to him 1 2.

We don’t applaud the fact that Mr. Tocha seems to forget that not all jobs offer equity and that because of that, equity isn’t the heavenly solution to stop being a “salary slave”.

We don’t applaud the fact that Mr. Tocha seems to consider employees of a company inferior to their entrepreneurs or founders, because they are the ones who always sacrifice everything and more. But sometimes he also defends employees and calls for improvements to their benefits. So which one is it Mr. Tocha? 1 2

We don’t applaud the fact that Mr. Tocha seems to think that certain jobs are inferior to others. Any profession has its value, and there are people who might be happy just washing dishes! Every one of us should go after what we enjoy the most and what aligns better with our goals in life. Not everything is about creating the maximum amount of wealth Mr. Tocha.

Final Ranking - Class C LinkedIn Lunatic

Diogo Mónica, “Engineer that allocates capital”#

Next up is Diogo Mónica. We’ve referenced him in the past because Diogo has the idea that somehow 10 year old children who don’t care about a flute will care about how to do their taxes or how vesting and cliff periods work.

Who is Diogo Mónica? Co-founder of Anchorage Digital, a company that claims to be the safest crypto platform for any institution. We don’t want to go down the defamation route at all, but crypto related companies don’t have a very, let’s say, polished history. We wouldn’t be surprised if we saw Diogo in a prison in a few years because it was found that he was a scammer or that he assembled a few Ponzi schemes. We also forgot to mention that Diogo is an investor at a hedge fund. This is starting to get really similar to a story we wrote before…

Besides generic posts that anyone with half a brain and some work experience could write, Mr. Diogo has some strong opinions regarding some topics. Sadly, we don’t really agree with them.

Diogo Mónica thinks it’s funny to call people dumb for not wanting to hop in robo taxis that are still at their early stages. It would be far more interesting to explain his defensive stance on Waymo, but it seems like he prefers to be a 10 year old instead.

Diogo Mónica thinks that regulations are for the weak and that everything should be like the grand ol’ USA where companies can play with people like they’re dolls. Protecting citizens? No way.

Instead of listening to his teammates, Diogo Mónica preferes to throw them into an AI and ignore the toxic environment or problems that may exist.

Diogo Mónica doesn’t like to pay taxes! Taxes are bad! Who cares about ensuring a society where there are resources for everyone when I can be extremely wealthy and pay everything for myself from my own wallet? Helping others? What an outrage!

Much like Mr. Tocha, Diogo Mónica thinks that all workers have access to equity to attain wealth.

Diogo Mónica is one of those Tech Bros that would probably prefer to have all art be completely AI generated because then we’d have cost reductions in producing, creating and publishing art. To the point of thinking that teenagers would rather know how to invest, fill out their taxes or start companies instead of learning music (and by the way Diogo, the instrument you had on your post is a transverse flute, not a recorder. You should’ve payed more attention in class!)

Final Ranking - Class B LinkedIn Lunatic

João Lopes, “Founder, COO & CRO @ Bloq.it”#

Regarding João Lopes, who we want to give the most sincere congratulations over his success with Bloq.it, we just want to highlight his inherent workaholism. A product of his own making, the startup world requires hours and hours of exhaustion and dedication.

However, we can’t applaud the way that this toxic behavior is defended by João Lopes. At this moment he is deluded of something that will later bring him regrets. Not all of us have to work like João. We don’t need to. Taking vacation days isn’t “death”. It’s taking care of ourselves. This workaholism obsession is absurd. You need to wake up at 4 A.M., have a cold shower at 4:01, go to the gym at 4:02, read 10 books at 4:03 and then start work. This isn’t healthy for anyone, no matter how much you like your job.

Final Ranking - Class D LinkedIn Lunatic

Miguel Milhão#

We don’t have to write anything about him. He can go f*ck himself.

Final Ranking - Class S LinkedIn Lunatic

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